HOW TO BE AN AH LIAN/AH BENG:D

You! Still trying to fit in with that cool bunch of ah lians/ ah bengs? Well, now you can! With this AWESOME post, with your very own personal trainer!

Me: Hi, i'm ChaoCheeBye-Kanina-Kaopei-Guailan-Fucktard-Lanjiao. :D

Lesson #1
To be an ah lian/ ah beng, First, you must always wear COLOURFUL SKINNIES. Yes! They are labeled Hip, Cool and practically the Queen of fashion by all ah lians/ ah bengs. You have to wear the brightess and most SHOCKING colours available. Hotpink, Babypink, Limegreen, Electricblue and whatnot! It's so... SHOCKING! You'll attract A LOT of attraction from say, that hot hunk beside you or that hot chick. People would want to be a library card and CHECK YOU OUT!

Lesson #2
You'll never be an ah lian/ ah beng if you don't have at least ONE striped shirt/ cardigan! Yes! Many ah lians/ ah bengs LOVEEEEEEEEEE stripe shirts, cause it looks like a Zebra, and they think Zebras are COOL! Red&Black, Pink&Black, Purple&Black, Green&Black and what other colour combination they have!

Lesson #3
Get as many GANS as you can! Aiai, stead, boyfriend, wife, kor, jie, mei, di and whatnot. Donkey?

Lesson #4
Add the chinese character, "AI" in front of your name! So your name becomes, "Ai chicken" Or something like that. Meaning, you want EVERYBODYYYYYYYYY to LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE you! Wheeeeeeeeee:D

Lesson #5
ACT CUTE. You know, pout your lips, make your eyes big, place your hands on your cheek, tilt your head to the right and blahblah.

Lesson #6
Mix English with Chinese and Dialect into every sentence you speak. So it becomes something like this,
"Whoa, ChaoCheeBye you pangseh me for what. Chi bao mei shi zuo arh?"
"Fuck you la, you think you very pretty meh? Come Kaopei me for what shit?"
Or something like that. I'm not an ah lian/ beng, so i won't know:D Be sure to add in TONS AND TONS of vulgarities!

Lesson #7
Break the rules. What are rules for, if you can't break them?

Lesson #8
Tattoos. Put as many fish-like pictures as tattoos on your body, ESPECIALLY your leg there, its going to attract lots of fishes you know, want to be fish so much? go die and reincarnate bah :D

That's all you need to know, to be an ah lian/ ah beng. :D

I think i just insulted half the population in Singapore. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK.


shakeshake :D